Ever wondered what it's like to write a novel? For some people it carries a certain intrigue, and is definitely a boost to the conversation when people ask what I do. 'Wow!' they say, 'what's it about – if you don't mind me asking?' followed by these rather predictable questions.
Admittedly, there are others whose respond as though I had said 'I'm an accountant' and then looked at my own feet, and that's okay too. I really don't mind talking about something else.
In fact, now that I'm a third of the way in – official word count after hitting my target last writing week is 33,000 words – I feel qualified to disclose the truth about this mysterious and alluring world of novel writing.
What's it like to write a novel?
It's boring
There are exciting bits, such as moments in the writing when scenes come together or phrases turn out particularly delightfully, or when planning the plot throws up some new, energising new element in the characters' relationships. But on the whole, it's nose to grindstone kind of stuff, or before that trying to persuade the nose to go into the same room as the grindstone, or even stop being in denial that the grindstone exists and requires some attention from the nose ... you get the picture.
From Salman Rushdie to Zadie Smith I'm noticing that the experiences of novelists while actually writing their books are a long way short of glamorous. Zadie gets no joy out of it and feels guilty a lot of the time. Salman says 'you have to be able to just do your job' as though writing a work of long fiction were like building a house or filing paper. Lots of paper. Anne Enright said that she doesn't 'do "inspiration" or "blocks". I just do "work" and hope for the best.'
And that about sums it up. Just doing work. There's something about weaving a story to grip and move people when it is finished that it ungripping and boring while in process. Almost as though the only way to tell this story is in 100 thousand words. So you won't get much of a story if you ask how it's going now.
It takes a long time
Especially dipping in and out every few weeks. Last year, over nine writing weeks, of which only six were in any way productive, I wrote 33,000 words. That's about a third of the novel, although it feels less. Perhaps I'm going to need more than 100,000 to tell this story.
Anyway, assuming it is only going to be 100,000, at that rate it will be another two years before the first draft is finished. I can't wait that long. I've nearly outlived Jesus and I want to be able to describe myself soon as a novelist, that is, published, instead of just another wannabe. And I want my house in the country.
So I'm going to raise my word target by 50% to 7,500 per week, using all the experience and learning from this last year, and make the most of the next nine weeks to finish it off in 12 months.
You can remind me of that.
I'm aware that talking word counts is hardly exhilarating. I told you. Writing a novel is boring. In fact I might be entering the dip but more of that next time.
Are you writing a novel? How far in have you got? How are you finding it? If you just want to *sigh* in the comments that's fine. Perhaps you're already published. How does that feel? Please tell me it's worth it. Please.
I started my novel, "inevitable", in the summer, and have moments of excitement and inspiration, but yes, most of it now is just plod. I've hit the point now where I have a lot of what was in my head written in very bad, first draft form, and am thinking there is no way this is long enough for a novel. So what do I do? That's my current dilemma.
I love the theme of your novel - sounds quite John Grishamesque, is that the idea? - and am looking forward to reading it! If you need someone for a "first read through" feel free to bounce off me (they always recommend fellow writers you are not close to etc...). Don't worry, I won't expect you to return the favour since mine is basically chic lit for the thinking woman (I was aiming for something grander than that, but I think it's time I faced facts...)